What to Do When You Can’t Have Children?

A lot of people struggle to get pregnant or simply do not want to get pregnant. The first is caused due to infertility issues while the latter is the result of someone’s personal preference. Whichever it is, you might still want to have kids, but not just in the natural way.

At this point, you might be thinking why would someone want to have kids if they do not want to get pregnant?

Well, the first reason could be that it is their personal decision to not want to put their body through something they don’t want to. Another reason could be that they do not want to pass down any existing medical conditions to their children.

Whatever the reason may be, it’s their right to reserve and others to respect. And the fact doesn’t change that they do not want children.

Moreover, infertility has also become a more common existing medical condition in women over the last few years. It can be caused due to a number of reasons, such as Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome (PCOS), Endometriosis, abnormal menstrual cycle, hormonal issues, etc.

In such cases, although these women want to have kids, they, unfortunately, cannot due to infertility issues that are at play here. Nonetheless, they too can opt for other ways to have a child.

Today, we will be looking into the alternative ways which you can adopt to welcome a new member in your family.


Probably the best option that you could ever opt for is adoption. There are so many orphanages with so many children who are looking for families who will love them as their own. So why not give these children a chance?

However, different countries have different rules set in place for people who want to adopt. So if you are really considering this option, now might be a good time to look into the requirements and forms or anything else that might be required of you.


This has become an extremely popular way of having children. More so, with celebrities opting for surrogacy, people are slowly inclining towards this method for having babies.

In the past, the would-be parents often nominated a family member or a close relative as their surrogate for the baby. However, this has changed in recent times due to the emotional complications involved in doing so.

The first step for surrogacy is finding a surrogate for the couple. Once you have found the right surrogate for you, you will have to meet doctors, get into a settlement with the surrogate and then carry on with the medical procedures.

In surrogacy, you can either use a donated embryo or carry out medical procedures to use an embryo of your own.

Fertility Drugs

This is the first method that couples try out when wanting to have a baby. Infertility can be caused due to a number of underlying factors at play within your body. But sometimes, it is possible to reverse them using fertility drugs.

However, you should always seek the advice and prescription of a medical professional before taking any sort of fertility drug.

Donated Embryo, Sperm or Egg

This can be an option if both partners are infertile. In this case, the couple will have to use an embryo that has been donated to them. Donation may also work when one of the partners is infertile.

For example, if the woman is infertile, you can use a donated egg. The same applies if a man is infertile. In this case, you will have to use donated sperm.

Medical Procedures

There are plenty of medical procedures these days which can be taken into consideration. Here are some of the medical procedures that you can try.

In Vitro Fertilization IVF

This is one of the most common medical procedures which is opted for by couples. IVF is a medical process where the eggs and sperm of the couple are collected. An embryo is formed in the laboratory and the doctor is responsible for placing it in the uterus of the woman.

However, you should note that IVF’s are not 100% successful. It can take a great deal of your time and money. Not to mention, it can also cause emotional distress.

Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection ICSI

This is a medical procedure opted when the male partner is infertile. Quite similar to IVF’s and Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection, the doctor inserts a single sperm into an egg.

Intrauterine Insemination IUI

Here, the egg is not collected to create an embryo. Rather, the sperm is collected and inserted into the uterine cavity. However, similar to IVF and ICSI, IUI is not 100% efficient.

Other medical procedures that could also be worth trying are assisted hatching, Gamete intrafallopian transfer GIFT, and Zygote intrafallopian transfer ZIFT.

With the advancement of medical procedures and technologies these days, you should always take a leap of faith and try out the medical procedure if you and your partner believe in it.


Remember, you can always choose to not be a parent if you do not want to. Most people might want to have a traditional family of three or more. But if it isn’t something that you want for yourself, it is never a good idea to force yourself into it. It is okay to want different things in life.

Another thing to consider is to seek out mental health professionals as these medical procedures can harm your mental health. Not to mention, society, family members and the support of your partner can also play a role in your deteriorating mental health.

Moreover, the process of having to go through medical procedures itself can both be medically and physically straining for your body. Therefore, a weekly appointment with a therapist may not be such a bad idea after all. Lastly, as we have mentioned at the very beginning of the write-up, you can always adopt. It is usually the last option that people opt for, but if you are sure that you do not want to go through the medical procedures, you can surely adopt this method.

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash