We tend to recall negative events and emotions more than pleasant ones, according to research by Elizabeth A. Kensinger. Good emotions must be encountered nearly three times more often than negative thoughts in order for people to have a positive outlook.
People who are in a good mood are more active and imaginative. Focusing on negatives, on the other side, will make you less optimistic.
That indicates you should find a way to avoid dwelling on the negative things in life. However, it is easier to be said than achieved. I am here to share what helped me to let go of the negative things in my life.
Recognize how it’s Holding You Back
First of all, it is extremely important for you to recognize the things that make you uncomfortable. We all have something unpleasant in our lives; some are voluntary, and others we have no power over. It can be toxic relationships or something bad that happened in the past.
We can find unhealthy relationships among relatives, romantic relationships, acquaintances, friends, bosses…almost among everyone. The nature of these dynamics doesn’t matter much, sometimes they can make you feel pretty bad about yourself.
Listen to your mind and body. The relationship between our mind and body is extremely strong. What would your body say if it could talk?
- Do you have a sense of burnout?
- Do you have a sad feeling?
- Is there any physical discomfort?
- Does it hurt?
Often, we let ourselves operate on auto-pilot mode, without realizing how the unpleasant things in our lives are affecting us. This is why having a strong mind-body connection is important. Knowing yourself helps you to recognize the things that hold you back.
Learn To Walk Out Of Unpleasant Situations
Here, you need to know yourself well. When you know your own intent and what you meant, it slowly gets easier for you to understand where you came from.
If you are coming from a good place and you get misinterpreted, you can always try to communicate yourself better. If the person doesn’t seem to understand you even after that, you probably did your best and you should just walk out of the situation.
It’s a small step to start letting go of unpleasant situations.
Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. For example, staying in a bad relationship can be more hurtful and harder to bear than being by yourself. When you’re out of the relationship, you can look back and analyze what had actually happened and what warning signs you should have seen coming.
Stop Blaming Yourself
The world isn’t always a nice place. Sometimes, things are just not your fault.
In an attempt to make sense of their environment, many individuals build a coping mechanism by blaming themselves for every little thing that went wrong. This can have a serious consequence because continuous self-blame can make you feel insignificant.
For instance, many end up hating themselves when they cannot reach their goals. A people-pleasing mentality and being a perfectionist can also make you feel like you are not good enough.
They say comparison is the thief of happiness and I couldn’t agree with it more! Whatever the reason is, be kinder to yourself. I am pretty sure you did your best and you still are. And if you made any mistakes in the past, remind yourself that it is a learning process.
Don’t we all make mistakes? Just own up to it and learn to be better the next time. No point in beating yourself up. That doesn’t bring any good to anyone.
Speak Up, Build A Support System
Whenever something needs to be spoken, people sometimes sit back and don’t say anything. In our society, silence is generally interpreted as approval.
When you are being wronged or see something unjust happening, try to weigh the pros and cons of speaking up. If speaking up will not affect your safety and have a greater impact, you should go for it. At least you will know you did your best!
When you are in an uncomfortable situation, speaking up means more than informing others of your stance. When someone is manipulating or trying to take advantage of you, silence may well have the reverse effect.
When we do not really speak up, it gives everyone else the idea that we are content with whatever is happening. And while you’re at it, focus on building a support system that will believe and support you when you speak your truth.
Forgive and Forget
Forgiveness is the willingness to let go of bitterness and feelings of resentment as you move on to the more meaningful aspects of your life.
When we hold a grudge, it has a negative influence on our quality of life. Let me illustrate the point.
Respondents in a study conducted by psychologists were asked to describe a grudge they held against others. Reminiscing about the grudge caused an increase in blood pressure, pulse rate, and sweats. emotionally, participants reported getting frustrated, sad, nervous, and out of control.
Once they were instructed to consider forgiving, their levels of stress dropped and the symptoms they had been experiencing dissipated. In the area of mental health, forgiveness has been shown to reduce tension and internal struggle while also restoring optimistic thinking and practices.
Forgiving somebody who has treated you unfairly does not imply believing that perhaps the hurt did not occur. It entails more than just acknowledging an apology. To forgive, you must let go of your frustration and negative feelings, and forgive, even if you do not get an explanation or apology.
With all that being said, we all need time to let go of the negatives. Nobody can do it within a day, or even a month. It requires constant struggle and effort to consciously try to let go. We have to keep trying till it becomes a habit.
Remember, we are all different in our own way. So, find what works best for you!